Can I see my mom's or dad's list?

Yes, if they invite you. You'll get your own link to view the list anytime. Only the person whose list it is can change it.

My parents aren't great with computers. Can it still work?

Yes. Do it together, ideally on the phone or computer where your mom or dad reads their email. Searching and listening work without an account. To save, enter your mom's or dad's email address, then click the link in that email together.

Isn't it strange to bring this up?

No. You're asking about the music of their life, and there's nothing strange about that. Before you know it, the conversation is more about the old days than about what comes later.

Conversations

Talking to your parents about their funeral music

Your parents' funeral isn't something you just bring up. It feels too early or too heavy, and before you know it another year has gone by. Music makes it easier. You can ask which record absolutely has to be played over a cup of coffee.

Why music is a good way in

Ask your mom about her funeral wishes and chances are she'll change the subject. Ask her which record was playing when she met your dad, and she'll start telling you.

You may find out that your mom or dad has known the answer for ages. There's a record that has to be there. Nobody had ever asked.

Ways to ask

A casual question usually works better than an announced conversation. A few ways to start:

If you could only keep one record, which would it be?
What did you two play when you had just gotten together?
I've already picked my five records. Want to hear which ones?
Which song do you definitely not want?

Asking what shouldn't be played works especially well with parents who don't care for sentiment. They're bound to have strong opinions about that, and then you're already in the middle of the conversation.

From answer to list

When your mom or dad names a song, look it up right away and play it. On this site you can do that without logging in. That way you know it's the right version, and often another story comes with it.

Saving works with your mom's or dad's email address. No password is needed: a link arrives by email. Then they invite you, and you can always view the list. If there's no email address, choose together, write the titles down and keep the note with their important papers.

If the conversation doesn't get going

Sometimes your parents just don't want to talk about it. Let it rest and try again in a few weeks, for example when a good song happens to come on the radio. Or show them your own list first. When they see you enjoyed it, they may get curious about their own five.

And if it never happens, you probably know more than you think. You know which tape was always in the car and what was playing on Sunday mornings. Write that down for yourself now.

Which five records tell your story?Quick · secure · always yours

Can I see my mom's or dad's list?: Yes, if they invite you. You'll get your own link to view the list anytime. Only the person whose list it is can change it.
My parents aren't great with computers. Can it still work?: Yes. Do it together, ideally on the phone or computer where your mom or dad reads their email. Searching and listening work without an account. To save, enter your mom's or dad's email address, then click the link in that email together.
Isn't it strange to bring this up?: No. You're asking about the music of their life, and there's nothing strange about that. Before you know it, the conversation is more about the old days than about what comes later.