Practical
How many songs at a funeral, and in what order?
A funeral service usually has room for three to five songs. A service often lasts forty-five minutes to an hour, and the music falls at a few fixed moments: at the start, between the speakers and at the end.
Where the music falls
The first song plays once everyone is seated, or while the coffin is carried in. It sets the tone for the rest of the service. Between the speakers come one or two songs during which nobody has to say anything. The last song plays as people stand up and leave the room.
At a cremation there's sometimes music during the farewell at the coffin, and at a burial at the grave. How much room there is depends on the venue and the time, and the funeral director knows. Count on five songs if every moment is used, and three for a short service.
Why five
On this site you choose five. That's enough to fill a whole service, and you still have to choose. With ten songs it quickly becomes a collection where nothing stands out anymore.
If there's less time, the people arranging the funeral choose from your five. That's a lot easier than starting from nothing.
The order
A list of five works a bit like one side of a record: the first song opens, the last one closes. Many people put something calm at the start and something upbeat or big at the end, but there's no fixed rule. If you want everyone to leave with a smile, put your happiest record last. If you want to show who you are right away, open with that record instead.
- Spot 1: the song that starts the service and says something about you right away.
- Spots 2 and 3: songs that belong to people and times that mattered to you.
- Spot 4: a song during which everyone is quiet for a moment.
- Spot 5: the song everyone walks out to.
Think of it as a guide. On your list you can rearrange the order as often as you like.
The whole song or part of it?
Four minutes of listening feels longer in a quiet room than at home on the couch, and that's fine. If you'd rather a song stop earlier, or it has to be that one live version, write that next to the record on your list. Then nobody has to guess later.
- How many songs fit in a funeral?
- Usually three to five, spread over the start, the moment between speakers and the end.
- Which song do you choose for the start?
- A song that sets the tone and says something about you. It can be something calm, but also a song that makes you happy.
- Do I have to decide the order now?
- No. Put your five in and move them around whenever you like. Drag a record to another spot with your mouse or finger.