For when you don't know where to start
Choosing music for a funeral: where do you begin?
Ask someone what music they want at their funeral and you often get a long silence. Not because there's nothing there, but because there's too much. A whole life of music, and suddenly it has to fit into five songs. So where do you start?
Not with the question of what's supposed to play at a funeral. That question leads to the same ten songs that already show up everywhere. Start with yourself.
Four questions to start with
Grab a notepad, or open the search box here on the site, and go through these four. Don't worry yet about whether it fits, just write down what comes up.
- Which song takes you straight back to your childhood?
- Which song belongs to someone you love, or once loved?
- Which song was playing on the best night of your life?
- Which song simply makes you happy, even if it doesn't sound like funeral music?
Take that last one seriously. This site is a celebration of taste in music, not a mourning tool. If your answer to the last question is a dance track, it belongs on the list just as much.
From forty candidates to five
Most people end up with twenty, thirty, sometimes forty songs once they get going. That's a good sign, not a problem. Only then start cutting: which two are really saying the same thing about you? Pick one. Which one is only there because you feel it should be? That one can go. What's left is your five, not a list anyone could have made.
It doesn't have to be finished in one sitting
You don't have to decide this in one evening. Look up a song, listen to a preview, put it in the first spot. Come back tomorrow and swap something. The list here changes with you for as long as you want, and the people around you only see it once you share it.
- Does my funeral music have to be sad?
- No. Many people deliberately choose something upbeat or unexpected. It's about what fits you, not what a funeral is supposed to sound like.
- How many songs do you need for a funeral?
- A service usually lasts around forty-five minutes, which fits about three to five songs. Five gives you a little more room to choose.
- Can I change my choice later?
- Yes, always, as often as you like. Nothing is fixed until you decide it is.